If you see my brain, send it this way

Today was one of those days where I realize that life is not all fun and games. I hate those days, because, secretly, I think life is all fun and games, it's just that on those days where it's not you're on the losing end of a game being orchestrated by "the man". So, don't worry, he's probably having fun, even if you aren't. And by you, I mean me, because that's where this all started, with my very boring, pretending to be a serious and responsible human being, day. I got stuff done, which is good, but I also asked a number friends to kill me over a variety of mediums (one of my favourite procrastination methods). However, none of them took me up on it, so I had to keep working. I might need better friends.

Eventually I decided it was time to wander off and see if I happened to stumble across my brain in the midst of my travels. I didn't. Actually, it's still MIA, just a little closer, because I can sense it somewhere in the distance. I hope it comes back to me soon, because it's very rainy.

While I didn't come across my brain, I did come across something that has bothered me for years. And that something is this change table:


Aww, look at that cute little koala bear. I'm going to change my impressionable baby's diaper here because this change table is good and not at all evil. Wrong, look closer. No, closer still...


That's right. If you have any concern about this table, you should call the number of the beast. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do, since my only concern is their phone number, which is terrifying to me, much too terrifying to phone and complain. If I were better with photoshop (by which I mean, if I owned photoshop at all), I would take the top picture and turn it into a evil devil koala to illustrate the way that I see this change table. But I can't. So, once again, I'm asking that you use your imagination to make up for my laziness/incompetence. It's good though, because you probably don't get to imagine very much anymore because you are probably an adult, and therefore quite boring. Unless you are my 10 year old cousin Kriskris Ruebenstein, who I have heard sometimes reads this, then your imagination is intact. I suggest if any of my boring adult readers have little ones in their life, they should also share my blog with them so they can help you with the imagining and you can answer fun questions like, "What does phallic mean?"

Today I definitely needed a happy song. I can't remember if I found one. I should, because I'll need one tomorrow too. I guess, given my strong negative feelings towards responsible living, I need to choose Dancing Through Life, from the musical Wicked. It's usually my go to song when I'm taking things too seriously. Also when I'm not dancing enough, which might very well be my problem today. Oh wait, no, I was right with the "game I'm not winning being my problem" theory. Except that I'm not actually losing, I'm just luring "the man" into a false sense of security so that I can put him in a headlock when he least expects it. Then as he whines that headlocks are not part of Clue, I'll flip him over and steal his wallet. Teach him to play with me. The point is, tomorrow, or maybe the next day (can't be too specific, never know who's reading and I don't want to lose the element of surprise) is going to be a good day.