Cereal guy?

I had coffee with my friend Vincenzo O'Lun today. I was looking forward to it because he'd promised me drama and excitement when I ran into him earlier in the week. He also gave me the "call me" hand signal, which I found odd, since, as far as I can recollect, we've never once spoken on the phone, and I'm not eager to start due to my general hatred of the phone and its general insistance on making any awkward situation 10 times more awkward. Then he promised I would have plenty of blog material, which makes my life easier, because most nights I have to depend on excessive consumption of sugar and/or caffeine to derail my train of thought. But, if I have a good conversation with Vincenzo, or Yelsel D'Stupid, or some other not quite sane friend, it pretty much writes itself, therefore decreasing my risk of future diabetes.

Unfortunately Vincenzo kept putting things off limits, despite claiming he's an open book. We did get into a good discussion about how he's not sure how to break to his future wife that she'll have to help him clean disgustingly messy townhouse kitchens. He hasn't met her yet. I suggested he wait until the second date. I was surprised he was talking about marrying at all, since Yelsel (who's pretty close to Vincenzo, yet I never see them together, which is probably good, because the two of them combined would probably blow a fuse in my brain) said she was pretty sure he'd never get married. He's pretty sure this is because he once said that he'd absolutely need a king sized bed when he gets married. This somehow makes sense between the two of them. King sized bed = single forever.

He also can't be with a vegetarian. He didn't elaborate, but proceeded to say "my last girlfriend was a vegetarian...I think". "You think?" I said, "How long did you date?" Apparently they dated for 6 months, and yet he never figured out whether she ate meat, even though it seems to be a dealbreaker. "Well, we mainly got dessert." He was happy when they broke up, but still feels a little confused about why. "Maybe because you didn't even know she was a vegetarian? Did you even know her name?" At this point he struggled for a bit, I have to assume the final name he gave was real though, mostly because he had no reason to lie at this point.

I'm feeling a little boring today, but fear not. Sometimes, I will save random notes in my iPod about funny things for future use. Actually, I would continue to fear, because one of those notes was "Vegetarian", to describe the last story. Well, let's see what I have.

"Cereal Guy." What the hell does "cereal guy" mean? Oh wait, I think this is from the day I was walking to school and saw a guy carrying two plastic bags full of what appeared to be about 20 boxes of cereal. Then I thought, this could be something and wrote it down. It wasn't something.

"Tim Hortons...Freezer story...Lady Bugs" Okay, well, I worked at Tim Hortons in highschool, so there's probably some sort of story from that. Oh wait, freezer story, I think I might know this one. Once, when I was working at Tim Hortons, we were bored, so we drew a detailed diagram of our plan to chryogenically freeze our supervisor, Alli, in the walk-in freezer, so that we could clone her in the future, then take over the world, or something. Then our manager found it and thought we were talking about another Alli. When she heard we meant our supervisor she said "Oh, that's too bad, I don't really like the other one." Which I took to mean that she'd read it, thought it was a murder plan and was simply disappointed at who the intended victim was. No concern over the fact that multiple employees were plotting this together. This might be one reason why one should never work at Tim Hortons.

Lady bugs? Oh, wait, I think that's about my pet ladybugs. Once, as a kid, I was begging my parents for a pet. My dad found a ladybug on his shirt and said, "Fine, here's your pet." I named her Lucy and kept her in a shoebox with a window built in the top with plastic wrap. I filled the little top hat from Monopoly with water and built a ramp up with a little piece of cardboard. She would climb up the little ramp and lean over into the hat to drink. I fed her cucumber. It would slowly disappear, so I'm guessing she liked it. I found other ladybugs around the house (there was a bit of an infestation that year) and gradually added them to my shoebox. At some point, I had so many I stopped naming them because I couldn't tell them apart anymore. Eventually, they started dying, so I got a second box and started a ladybug graveyard. When that filled up with little cardboard crosses I decided it was probably time to set my ladybugs free. Then I was alone again. The moral: Just buy your kid the pet.

That's enough of the random iPod notes for today. Happy song! So, I'm listening to my iPod and somehow magically turned Thunder Road by Bruce Springsteen on. Sometimes Shamus likes to play a game where he starts a song and I have to name it. I couldn't get this one as of last fall, but about a month ago, I was on an ice cream quest with Mickey Bobicky and sang the whole thing. Really, I just want to get to the lyric, "It's a town full of losers and I'm pulling out of here to win." Maybe that doesn't sound like a happy song, but it's pretty awesome when you're ready to blow this popsicle stand (I feel I underuse that phrase...maybe for good reason). The point is, "so long suckers" (...in a few months. Somehow that makes it lose its effect. Don't worry though, I'll probably just repeat it later, giving you many opportunities to be referred to as a sucker.)