I nearly ran out of tape, but I made it

I'm graduating today, so I don't have time to write much. Although I'm looking forward to seeing all the people that have been my family the last 4 years, I'm not looking forward to walking across the stage, because I don't have any shoes with treads good enough to ensure I won't become, "that girl who fell." I've spent 4 years cultivating the "that red head girl who wears a lot of green...and sometimes blue" image. Not that distinctive, I know, but dependable, like the colour green...or blue.

Graduation makes me nostalgic. Only 4 years ago, I had freshly graduated from my undergraduate program and was looking forward to exciting new adventures. If I have a fault, it's that I tend to be overly optimistic. I imagined that this new school would be like a hidden utopia nestled in North York. On nostalgic days like this I could almost imagine I was right. But I wasn't right. I was very wrong. Even if the heating system in the building hadn't been menopausal, the school still would have had some work to do to get to utopia. But that's okay, because now that I'm leaving, like my undergrad, it will slowly morph itself into the wonderful experience I wanted it to be. That is the magic of memory.

During the last 4 years, I've learned many things. Number one among them is the importance of crying. I had considered trying to drink enough at formal to replace the tears I shed over the last 4 years, but thought that dying of alcohol poisoning might not be the best way to celebrate graduation. I think it's a way though, and will consider it the next time I graduate from somewhere that seems to relish in repeatedly crushing my soul. That was another key lesson. For 4 years the school would intermittently smash my soul, and I would pick up all the little soul pieces and try to figure out how to put them back together. It was problem based learning. Eventually, I was able to eliminate the less essential parts of my soul, replacing them with shards of awesome. Yes, it's mainly held together by bits of string and scotch tape, but my soul is now 19% more awesome than it was 4 years ago. So now is the opportunity for me to thank my school for so thoroughly destroying my spirit, because, coming in, it was a mediocre spirit, at best, but now it is awesome enhanced.

So, what have I learned, other than what it feels like to have your soul repeatedly pulverized, and how to most efficiently repair it with odds and ends you find around the house? That's a good question. Well, I learned that anytime something goes wrong, saying things like, "there's nowhere I can be that isn't where I'm supposed to be," or, "this is part of my path," or, "this happened so I can learn," will comfort me more than I imagined possible. For example, if something goes wrong and I miss the subway, I'll think, "chances are if I'd caught that train, it would have been the train where a bear would have eaten me." Or if someone rejects me, I'll think "chances are they were a bear who would have eaten me." The point is, there are bears around every corner, and the only thing preventing you from becoming their delicious dessert is a string of seemingly unfortunate events.

Today's happy song is Ramble on by Led Zeppelin, which has, for a long time, been my favorite end of the school year song. I also like it because I'm a fan of all kinds of rambling, both the verbal kind and the kind that makes your feet hurt. The Lord of the Rings references are also a little bit awesome, because, even though I haven't actually gotten through the books, I respect those that are so open in their devotion to fiction. If I wrote a song, I would reference Fraggle Rock a lot. It wouldn't be as cool as Ramble on, and would probably contain more instances of the word "radish" than any other song in history. Actually, I don't need to write a song, because it already exists. It's called the Fraggle Rock theme song. Crap, I think I just wasted two happy songs in one day. Oh well, I guess it's a special day. I'll just have to turn a horribly depressing song into a happy song later on to make up for the loss. I'll try to find one with a high casualty count, just because I like the challenge.