I went for lunch with Yelsel D'Stupid, Neyney Charmin, and Lysha McSomji. We took the subway and as we were getting off, we saw EMS putting someone on a stretcher. There was a busker playing "Que Sera Sera" on the saxophone, which made me think exactly how awful it would be, after a horrible subway emergency, to have to stare up at the ceiling worrying about dying and listening to a song about the unpredictability of life. I also might start believing that I've actually passed on and this is God's idea of a funny joke. By the way, God, if you're reading this, it's not. It's just not. I got Neyney to promise me that if it ever occurred she'd run over and request another song. I think "I'm Alright" could be a good one, although I've never heard it on the sax, so it's hard to say for sure.
Normally, in emergency medicine (which we also covered today) you start every scenario with a scene survey, meaning you look for fire, wire, gas, glass and blood before approaching the victim to help. This is to avoid dying (or, alternatively, losing various appendages). I suggest that list be revised to also include "ironic music". Wait, is that irony? I don't know, I guess all my English teachers were right to be angry at Alanis Morissette for confusing an entire generation about the definition of "ironic" The point is, I want people to listen for music that would suck to die or near-die to and include eliminating said music in their initial emergency procedures.
Walking back to school, we were hoping to see the baby geese that have been hanging out around the tennis courts lately. Neyney kept calling them ducks. She said it was because she doesn't like geese, but I think she was just never good at "Duck, duck, goose". She was probably that kid who just kept going around the circle saying duck until the teacher felt so sorry for her that she would just start snack-time. Yum, cheesestrings!
Anyways, she said she loves baby geese but doesn't like the big ones. I mentioned that the little ones do grow into the big ones. She said, not if we give them Fluoroquinolones (we'd just learned that they will arrest bone growth if given to children, and we're nerds). The image of tiny, but adult looking geese disturbs me, but also kind of intrigues me. It would actually be pretty dangerous because you would see the goose, but think it must be very far away. You probably wouldn't realize the error in that assumption until it has already pecked your eyes out, preventing you from making the same mistake twice. So, unless you are an evil mad man/woman looking to take over the world by blinding people with optical illusion geese, please think twice before making a tiny novelty goose. Although, if all the geese were tiny, it would probably decrease the total amount of goose poo I could stumble upon, which would be positive. I think what I'm saying is I need to do a more in-depth risk/benefit assessment of mini-geese, before I make a final recommendation on the creation of them.
The other day, Shamus messaged me to say that I haven't been blogging about him enough lately, and that he's pretty sure that's all people want to read about, so I should increase my average Shamus percentage in my posts. I wasn't so sure, but then I remembered that I could add a poll. Actually, I've been looking for something to poll about, because polls are super fun and I don't get to do enough in everyday life. Please answer my poll question and I will reward you by either listening to or ignoring the responses.
To end off, I'd like to say that every emergency medicine course I've taken has been totally useless, because they never include what to do in the event of a bear mauling. Yes, it is helpful to know how to deliver a baby, but what is the ideal method for delivering a baby while a bear is eating your left arm? And how do I do CPR when a bear is clawing my face off? They just never give the important information, that's all I'm saying.
bear mauling? Lol. Yelsey d'stupid? and charmin? hahahah.
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