Apparently sometimes I don't title things, but then I do

I hate public transit because of the rage it inspires in me, but I also like it because it gets me places, like the zoo. Actually, I've never taken the bus to the zoo because it seems like it would take a very long time, but I like knowing that should I need to, I can. Regardless, back to the rage. For the most part, it's not frustration with public transit itself, except for the times I run into mean bus drivers and the like. It's all about the obstacles I inevitably encounter on the way the second I want to use it to get anywhere on time. Like if I decide to cut through the mall to go to the bank for money to buy tokens, then it is guaranteed that two very stationary people will stand in front of me side by side on the escalator. Even as I stomp behind them to try to get their attention, my heels clanging on the metal grates, they don't ever think to move, and then when I make my way down to the subway, I can just see it pulling away as I get to the bottom. Then all I can think about for the rest of the day is how those escalator people made me late.

Today, my irritation was with an old man on the street and a woman with a stroller. Then I thought I might be evil. But then I thought, no, they deserve to have me screaming at them in my head. If they can't keep up, they shouldn't be in the game. What game, you might ask? And, if you are asking that, you should probably get out of it too, because I want to win and you're holding me up.

To calm the rage, I went out for dinner with my friend Sparrow Goslin. We went to find dessert at this random cafe because it had a name that made us go. I'm going to be secret about the alluring name because it might be a future surprise for someone else. Could it be you? Probably not, so don't get your hopes up. My cake had a cream puff swan, and I ate the neck first. Later, I felt sick, and I'm pretty sure that, rather than being because of the excessive sugar consumption, it was because the cream puff swan was trying to peck its way out.
We sat beside a big fishtank, which was risky since we'd just eaten sushi, and you know they can tell. This tank had a very large fish, which I'm sure would have eaten us right away if it weren't for the small bit of glass protecting us. If I'd fallen in the tank (I'm not sure how you fall in a household fishtank, but I'm sure it happens all the time), I'd have be gone before you could say "Hey, look at that crazy cream puff swan!"

Sparrow thought it would be cruel to have such a large fish in such a small tank. She might have had a point, he did have to make a three point turn every time he turned around. I think that could be easily remedied by lobotomizing the fish when you first get it to eliminate his memory. That way, each trip across the tank will seem like a new adventure to him. He might forget how to three point turn and break himself, but he'll forget what it was like to not be broken pretty fast, and thus won't even notice it. It'll be like Memento, but with fish. Actually, didn't that movie start with murder and end with more murder? That guy didn't live a very good life at all. Now I'm kind of worried about my amnesiac fishy. Glad I thought this one through first.

Happy song: And Your Bird Can Sing by The Beatles. Really, I coudn't think of a song today and just started scrolling through my music, so it pretty much won out because it starts with an "A". But it's also pretty cheery for a song that's pretty much like "Screw you. I don't care if you have a bird; I still think you kind of suck, you jerk." That's me paraphrasing. But I like to think I usually paraphrase pretty accurately. Anyways, as someone who has never owned a bird, I appreciate the sentiment, so it gets to be happy song; even though it definitely has, at the very least, irritated undertones. Oh, but I would get rid of the part where they say they'll be around if the bird owning person changes their mind, because, seriously, I don't care if they get bored of their bird, I'm still worried about various bird related diseases I could contract from them.