So I've decided to blog...

One might ask, why would I decide to blog now? Oh wait, by one, I mean I might ask. I just keep thinking that it would probably be smarter to invest my time and energy into inventing a time machine to take me back to when blogs were all the rage and then start blogging. But that's not my style (and by my "style" I'm referring to "outdated")...and I already tried to make a time machine back in grade 5. It was made of a refrigerator box and it took a lot of black paint. Just painting it was enough of a hassle to make me give up on the idea of time travel to this day (other than the linear forward moving pattern I've become accustom to).

So, here I am, blogging in 2010, because it's officially gotten to the point where there is too much stuff in my brain that just needs to come out somehow. Insignificant things that are taking a lot of space that could be filled with relevant facts, like where I left my keys or how I plan on acquiring dinner on any given day. Since it has to come out somewhere, I figure why not just put it on the internet, where I can imagine that someone is reading, instead of randomly in my journal, where I imagine no one is reading, but, most likely, someone is stealing it in the night and mocking my grammar.

But, apparently to start a blog you need a name, which was a massive obstacle for me. One might think that someone who is unable to think of a few words to name their blog will probably not do too well at actually filling the potential blog. However, I like to think that I'm more a quantity over quality person when it comes to writing. It is much easier for me to string together many words that mean nothing than a couple words that mean something.

Since you're reading this, I clearly thought of a name, a name which I think needs some explanation, to prevent you from imagining I'm a pack-a-day chain smoker...although reading this with a raspy smokers voice might add to the mystique, so feel free to do that. But, in reality, I stole it from a Tom Waits song. The full quote is "I'm all alone, I've smoked my friends down to the filter", which I've often thought would be the greatest Facebook status ever. But, the Catch-22 is that the only time I could actually post a quote that miserable would be if I'd truly alienated all my friends, which means there would be no one left reading my Facebook status and thinking how awesome I am for posting such an insightful status. Every time I listen to the song I repeat this realization and mourn the loss of my perfect Facebook status all over again. So, when prompted to write a few words to title my blog it was the only thing I could possibly use.

Now that I am officially a "blogger", you might wonder what my game plan is. No? Well, I'm wondering that. So, basically what I'm thinking is that in my pre-blogging life when in the course of the day I had opportunities to make amusing or insightful comments I would just speak them aloud and be done with it. No more. Now, when such a moment arises, I will instead sprint to the nearest computer and write it up for the benefit of all, then send a link to my blog to whoever I happened to be talking to so they know my thoughts on our long abandoned conversation. I think it's a solid plan that won't result in me seeming weird at all. If nothing else comes from it, the constant running will be good for the cardiovascular system and the frequent unexpected retreats from social interactions will keep bringing me one step closer to my perfect Facebook status.