Blogging everyday is hard...

So, the whole blogging everyday thing works when you're bored and procrastinating, but it's hard on days like today in which I actually want to finish work and then go out and have fun. The way I see it, I have two options: I could drunken post tonight or I just post something I wrote in the past. I chose the second option.

Luckily, I'm a pack rat, so I found a plan for world domination that I wrote back in high school. One of my many plans. I actually used to be very focused on world domination, until I realized that once you're at the top, there's not much else to do except worry about other people killing you, which I don't enjoy, so, over time, I've learned to focus on new hobbies (by which I mean, you should support my blog, because it might be the one thing preventing me from crossing over from mild-mannered ginger to evil despot).

In high school I really liked gel pens, so it was originally written in a few different colours, and for some reason I chose hot pink for the bulk of the writing. Perhaps it was to force spying adversaries to have to read it a very slowly, so that by the time they reached the end I would already have knocked them out with a vase and hog-tied them in my closet. It was a smart plan, but will make it difficult to transcribe without going blind. You're welcome.

Sharon's Ultimate Plan for World Domination

Step 1: Breed Hedge Hogs
Through the acquirement of as many hedge hogs as possible, I can create an army to destroy all who oppose me.

Step 2: Train Hedge Hogs
By teaching the hedge hogs math, I can unleash their mathemagical power upon the world for all to tremble beneath. They will also be trained to bite peoples ankles, making them a constant annoyance to my enemies.

Step 3: Change Name to Liza-Jean and Infiltrate Yokel Society
After entering an unsuspecting yokel town, I will quickly gain their trust by teaching them wonderous new methods for roadkill preservation and preparation. With their trust, I will be able to manipulate them easily using their natural fear of those who are different to have any who question my rule eliminated.

Step 4: Have Hedge Hogs Dispose of Yokels
Once all foes are gone, it will be dangerous to have such an easily controlled group of gun owners around.

Step 5: Fully Establish Status as Despotic Leader
By constantly reminding those around me that I "own their ass" and introducing myself as Queen/Empress/Supreme Ruler Sharon, I will quickly convince everyone of my power and they will treat me accordingly.

Step 6: Enjoy a Milkshake in my New Civilization

...Well, I'm not blind, but it doesn't quite have the same charm when it's not written in technicolour with little stars and spirals doodle in the margin. I'm still going to post it though, because of the aforementioned "having a life" today. Don't worry, it doesn't happen often.